Shelbie Writes –
Is there a difference between thinking about what would happen if I committed suicide and actually harming myself? I feel like I have depression and I think about what would happen if I killed myself or died in an accident or something. Would anybody really care or miss me?
I’m not going to go out and kill myself. I could never do that, but I’m concerned that thinking about it will lead to doing something because I don’t have anything to prevent it but my own willpower.
Dear Shelbie,
There is all the difference in the world between thinking about suicide and actually attempting to hurt yourself. Mainly, you can think about it every day for the rest of your life. If you attempt it, that day may be the rest of your life.
That answer may sound flippant, but the truth is, there is probably no one over the age of eight who has never wondered what the world would be like without them. At times, everyone wonders about his or her place in the world. Everyone wonders whether they are truly loved and valued, which leads many to wonder how much they would be missed if they were gone.
When you struggle with depressed feelings, as it sounds like you are currently doing, it is easy to slip into this kind of thinking. Feelings of guilt and worthlessness are part of depression. Judgment is impaired and fantasies about leaving it all behind can even seem comforting. There is truly nothing to fear from the passing thought of death or even suicide.
When psychiatrists and psychologists assess suicidal intent. They ask three important questions –
Does this person have a plan to kill herself?
Does she have the means?
Does she have the opportunity?
The more positive answers you have, the more serious the problem. As long as you are simply wishing you could disappear or wondering whether you would be missed, your likelihood of hurting yourself is relatively low. When you begin to formulate a plan, your risk is far higher. At that point you should definitely seek professional help or call the suicide hotline for help at 1-800-273-8255.
Even though your risk of suicide may be low at the moment, that does not mean you should not seek counseling, therapy, and possibly medication. Depression is a serious disease that can take over your life. Help is out there. You don’t have to keep suffering.
If you have further questions or walk to talk further. Feel free to email me.
Wren
Answer Wren 